An Adventure of Self Love

When it comes to self love, I’m not a great role model. My self image has oscillated between being minorly ok to downright terrible for most of my life, something I’m sure a lot of people can relate to. We all have the ideal version of yourself that we aspire to become. My idealized self would be 60 lbs lighter with long hair blowing in the wind and body proportions straight out of a Victorian corset ad. Unfortunately, God sought to give me double hips, broad shoulders, a penchant for chopping my hair off at two in the morning, and a deep seductive love of all things bread and sugared. Oh how cruel fate can be.

Yet, I know that somewhere out there is a small boned willowy person who sees themself as too skinny That they are too fragile, whereas I am built like a five foot ten inch dump truck and could probably single handedly fight off a bear if the situation arose. For every flaw I see in myself there is someone who is yearning to have those exact traits. Well most of them. The unfortunate and very real truth we try to positive think away is that we aren’t all around perfect. No one wants a massive nose or an awkwardly long torso. Big ears don’t help you hear better and acne scars are wished away by all who bear them. There are things about each of us that aren’t beautiful or desirable. Things that no one wants to have but you’ve been given them anyways and that can be disheartening. I understand that. I’ve been where you are and mostly likely I’ll be there again, wishing for something I’ll never have like delicate collarbones and knowing that I can never get that because I am not a Kardashian.

But do you know what I do have? A loving husband who admonishes me when I say I’m fat, but doesn’t try to lie about how I look. What that means is he knows my body isn’t classically feminine, but he thinks I’m beautiful. Actually he tells me I’m built like a viking princess lol. And looking at my physique, yea he’s right! I’m sturdy, built to take a hit and survive the elements while wielding a mighty sword against my foes. And honestly that is so much cooler than delicate collarbones. I still struggle with not feeling very feminine but I have him to remind me everyday of the things that I do like about myself, but that I’ve never taken the time think about.

I can cook, pretty well I might add, I can sing, I’m a generally nice person, I think my eyes are pretty, I can play ukulele, I’m pretty funny, and my knowledge of pop culture and history is wide and ever growing. There are things that I don’t necessarily like, but that are just facts about me like that I’m loud, borderline boisterous and my presence alone is a health risk for those with peanut allergies. That last bit is mostly a joke, but still I want you to take a minute and think of all those little things that you’ve skimmed over for years while looking at your flaws. Maybe you’re list is short, mine is no manifesto either, but it’s a step in the right direction towards loving yourself.

So take a moment today to start your journey to accepting the person you are, we could all use improvement but be gentle on yourself. The things you can’t change are what make you unique and special. I’ve accepted that I am a viking princess, but I want you to take the time today to ask “what am I?”.

Thank you so much for reading! If you liked reading my writing or have any notes on anything please drop a comment and subscribe to get notifications when I post. Thanks again.

Until our next adventure!